The events of that day just kept replaying in my head all day yesterday. I had woken up that morning to a panicked phone call from my cousin, Taiylor. She didn't know for sure what was going on, but had said that they had come to get my aunt so it must be serious. I paced my room for a while debating whether I should go to Versailles or not, but ultimately decided that no matter the outcome, I needed to be with my family. I got dressed and headed out. I had made it just past BNL when I got a text from my stepmother telling me he had passed. I made it to Brownstown before I had to pull over and try to gather myself.
When I got to the house some time later, there were a lot of people there. I parked at the bottom of the hill and took off running. All I could think about was hugging my father and telling him I loved him.
After arriving and spending a few minutes talking to people, Taiylor and I decided we needed to get out of that house. "Creeper" was of course being his little pedophile self, and neither of us were exactly in the mood for it. We went and sat at the McDonald's for a while, till we heard from Shelby and figured out that no one had been able to get a hold of Grandma Opal.
We immediately got up and headed over there. We knocked on the door. When she opened the door and saw us standing there, she broke down. We didn't even need to say it. Us showing up unannounced said it all.
We spent the rest of the day sitting around talking and just being with each other. While sitting and chatting at McDonald's, Taiylor and I had decided that we should light the bell that night. When we went back over to Pappaw's we brought up our idea, and we were told we had to wait for "Creeper" (Mind you, she didn't actually call him Creeper. But, if the shoe fits...) to get home. When he got home, he gave us the run around and basically said we weren't going to do it. To which I said, "I'm not asking you. I'm telling you." At that point, Dad got up and went outside to turn it on.
Anyone who would've known that house or the man that lived there, would know what it meant. Our family all stood at the bottom of the hill arm and arm, crying and remembering the man behind the bell.
I drove home that night broken hearted. When I walked up to my back door, I found a Coke and Starburst sitting there waiting for me. My girls had left me a little something to let me know they were thinking of me. It was comforting to know that I had a support system behind me.
It's been a rough year, but I'm confident that Pappaw Joe would be proud of me despite things not going as I planned. He always was a bragger....and an exaggerator. He loved bragging on his kids and grand kids. (Wonder where I got that from.) I love him very much, and he is missed.
News report done on Pappaw Joe
I know you are all thinking, "Wow. Way to be Debbie Downer." Stick with me.
Things clearly have not gone as I had planned them in my head, but that doesn't mean that they haven't gone well. I've finally realized that things aren't always going to go as I plan them. I just like to pretend like I'm in control here, but I'm not really. I ultimately am in charge of the final decision, but there are always other factors to consider than what I originally anticipated. That whole deviating from the plan thing really freaks me out sometimes.
Coming back to Evansville really freaked me out because it meant that I had to face my failures. No one likes to do that. However, I'm doing what I came here to do. I had a 3.6 GPA last semester. This semester I am retaking the 3 classes I failed the last time I was here, and I'm doing really well. It's crazy what you can accomplish when you study and actually show up for class. Weird.
Work is going very well too. I had my 60 day evaluation a few weeks ago. Given it was a few months after the 60 days, but that's neither her nor there. However, it went very well and my boss said that some of the associates commented on how mature I was for my age, (They clearly don't know me very well.) in the way that I deal with situations that occur. It took everything I had not to giggle when he was saying all of that.
I'm also living in a big girl apartment. I kind of live in a retirement community. I believe I am the youngest resident. The hall ways smell like my Grandma Opal's apartment entry. It's homie. lol. This is the first time 1) I have ever paid rent, and 2) Not lived on a college campus or with my mommy. I'm becoming a big girl.
So, Readers, what's the point of all of this? Things aren't always going to go as we want to them to, but that doesn't mean that good things aren't on the horizon. You can always come back. Readers, go make your come back!
