When it rains it pours. Ever heard that saying? I'm living it.
My grandfather is dying. Doctors gave him three months to a year. He has/ had lung cancer. He was a smoker for a long time. So he battled against the lung cancer and won, but the war isn't over. The cancer spread. He is going through more chemo which is why they said three months to a year. With out the chemo its three months.
We are all praying for more time. That he will have more time. That we will have more time with him. I need more time with him. But I don't want to see him suffer. He is suffering. And there is nothing I can do, but hope and pray.
My dad called me yesterday morning. Which I knew something was wrong because he never calls in the morning unless something is wrong. He called to tell me that my step sister tried to commit suicide. She took pills. She has some health problems and so she is on medication for that. She has had a rough life. Nothing has been easy for her. She took pills. Now she is in the hospital.
A student of mine who I have invested a great deal of time in, is homeless as of last week. The mother has been in and out of prison for meth. Meth. Which is what she is now back in prison for. As of last week. Luckly the student has found a place to stay. This student has not had an easy life. Nothing has been handed to them.
What do you say to that? How do you deal with that?
My boss has been a real jerk lately. I'm learning that it is in his nature to be. A Christian man. No one gives Christians a worse name than Christians.
I'm guilty of that. We all are.
So....How do I, Lindsay, make it through the day?
First and formost being God. Because I know my strength comes from him. Other than that:
~A co-worker making reference to me being Super Woman.
~Remembering the snow storm of 2007 where my roommate and I watched like 2 complete seasons of Greys, and didn't kill each other even though we were together for 24 hours straight.
~Playing an arcade basketball game with Moyra with our eyes shut.
~Dancing with Sophia.
~Dranking 4 cups of coffee in the morning.
~Hearing Destiny's voice on the other end of the phone.
~The sound of a can of coke opening.
~Finally getting a chance to get to know my cousin, Megan.
~Getting a chance to spend more time with Elyssa and helping her plan her wedding.
~A simple 'I love you' text from Em.
~Gary helping me think through things rationally.
~Random big sister gifts from my "little brother".
~Doing absolutely nothing for an entire day but watching 10 episodes of Grey's Anatonmy.
Things seem bad because they are bad. But even in the midst of all that bad there is good. And I think I lose sight of that. Even if I am surrounded by butts. There is still good. That is what I have to chose to focus on.
Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
