Friday, July 16, 2010

Failures


I've been thinking alot lately about what my purpose is here. Do I even have one?

Facts are facts: I came home 2 years ago for 1 reason. To get my act together. I had spent the last 2 years of my college career fumbling in the dark, trying to become someone I'm not sure I was meant to be.

I've failed at almost everything I've attempted. I've been thinking alot about that this week too. I've never stuck with anything in my life. When things get hard, I run away. I think I come by that naturally though. But when does the cycle end? I can't just put that on other people. At some point I have to break out of that cycle.

I quit my job this week. I job a really liked. With co-workers I really liked. With customers I came to grow accustomed to and like.

....There are some Christians who give the rest of us a bad name.

The number 1 thing God asked of us was to love others. I lose sight of that alot because I get so frustrated with people. But even in my frustration, I'm suppose to be loving. It's hard.

So often I find myself going through the motions. I let myself get so busy with the things of this world that I forget to love.

My actions do not always reflect those of someone who is loved. Sometimes I have trouble showing others that I am loved because sometimes I don't feel it. Though, I know that is Satan working through people and circumstances to make me feel that way.

I know that I am a loved child of God. And because I am loved, I should show love to other people. Even people who push my buttons.

I think I have grown alot in the past two years. I still have alot of growing to do, but all the same I have grown. I am working hard in my classes. I have set a goal for myself, and am working hard to achieve it. I've never really had goals before so it's kind of new and exciting and scary.

So....The point, as stated above, of being in Mitchell has been to clean my act up. And secondly, since I am here I might as well make myself useful. That is why I have invested time in the people here. I could've come home and achieved cleaning my act up with out involving myself with others. However, I think that my path right now would look different if I hadn't chosen to invest in the people here.

So....the point of this post.....Let your actions reflect those of someone who has been shown love. "Do everything in love." 1 Corinthians 16:14

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Pressure

I have alot of pressure on me right now. I'm starting to feel it.

I have a summary due by tomorrow that needs to be finished. I have a video due by Friday, that I just got the stuff for tonight. I have research and an outline for the camp video that I have to get done this week. Homework that is due Friday morning. Photo shoot with the lil cuz tomorrow. Food pantry run in the morning. All while working everyday this week.

And that is just this week.

There are not enough hours in my day....so.....I'm pulling an all nighter to try and get as much done as I can.

I feel kind of like a bum because I haven't done much around the house to help my parents out. Though, I've not really had much time for anything.

I guess I need to get to it.