I have one week left of letters. These will be my hardest. They are the apology letters. No one likes to admit that they have made mistakes. No one. And if you say that you do, you are a lier. Its one thing to be willing to admit it, another to enjoy doing it. Anyway, as I much as I hate admitting my faults, I know that I need to do it. It's my way of making peace with the past. I can't change their views or feelings of me, but I can change my views and feelings. And it's time to make peace.
A few months ago, my best friend decided that we could no longer be best friends. His reason for it was that I think homosexuality is a sin and he is gay. So he said that there was a part of him that I disagreed with and he couldn't be around people like that. (sigh)....I'm not as upset as I should be. Don't get me wrong. I am upset. I mean we had been friends for so long. But it was a long time coming. We weren't good to or for each other.
I've been beating myself up over some things he said though. He said that he feared for the girls I lead. He feared that they would end up thinking like me. And I have let that eat at me for a month. It has made me second guess what I am doing. I hate it. Because I know that I am exactly where I am suppose to be, doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing. I know that I am a failure at alot of things, but these girls are not one of those. God placed me here to do his work, and that is what I will do.Readers tonight I would like you to think about the relationships in your life. Be intentional with the people around you. Its ok to make mistakes, as long as you admit that you do make mistakes and you try to do better. Just think about who you are to people. Who you seem to be, be really.
Ok, I'm not going to say that you're wrong in what you believe. But I am going to put my two cents in.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend is also gay. I have never judge him for this, because it's who he is. But it's not ALL that he is. Him being gay is a miniscule part. I couldn't imagine my life without him.
As far as what Ashton said, I can't help but agree with him. We are not here to judge people; love the sinner not their sin and all that jazz. But what honestly gets me is how is being gay any more of a sin than swearing? Or lusting? Just because THOSE things don't gross you out?
I'm going to be completely honest here, I think he did the right thing by de-friending you. Why would you want to be friends with someone who doesn't believe in you?
I'm not saying that you're a bad person, or that you're wrong in believing what you do, but I do know a man who was a pastor, loves God and is gay. Because he loves God so much and believes in his word, he's refused to act on his homosexuality. This is just one of the reasons I don't believe that it's a choice.
I'm very proud that you will stand up for what you believe in even when it causes you pain. I know you love Ashton (and Thomas) and just don't love the choices they make. Thats the way it should be........love the sinner, hate the sin. And yes...........we all sin everyday, everytime we make a negative comment, have a bad thought, tell a "white" lie. That is what God's grace is about.
ReplyDeleteAll those girls are blessed to have you helping them in their lives. I am blessed to have you too!! Love you!!
Moomee
P.S. By the way Thomas happens to be one of my favorite people ever..........no matter his lifestyle.
Christina the thing is I don't care that either of them are gay. I just don't care. I sin every day. I am a sinner. period. And I did except him. All of him. Ashton is taking his personal feelings about himself out on me. Thats who he needs me to be so that is what I will be.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT think that people who are gay are going to hell. And people who think that know nothing about grace. So DO NOT mistake me for some biggit gay hater. I am not.
I love Ashton. That won't change. And Thomas was a good friend of mine. What do I care if he is gay? He is still Thomas. He doesn't condem me, so why would I condem him.
Homosexuality is a sin. Just like lieing, cheating, lusting, gossiping, whatever. I am a sinner. period. Its by God's grace that I get by. I will not budge on that.
So I typed out a big response to this yesterday and realize now it didnt get posted. But it's pretty much what you just said in that comment lindsay.
ReplyDeleteexcept this. dont second guess what you are doing. i know you well enough to know that you are a great influence on those girls. what you just said about sin and god's grace is what i believe is true. you are doing great things through being an example. i would trust you to be a good example for my little sister, or any of my cousins. keep doign what youa re doing.
all i have to say is that acceptance is a key to your house when i don't have one to my own.
ReplyDeleteyou are an amazing woman of god and leader.
I agree with him. I also fear for the girls you lead. Feeding them neo-Christian values can harm them irreperably and forever give them a skewed view of the world.
ReplyDeleteAs the blogger's mom I thought about debating with "anonymous" but as I thought of what I wanted to say I decided that you cannot have an intelligent discussion with someone who has no intelligence.
ReplyDeleteSo I will just say to Lindsay, keep living for God and honoring Him with your gifts. He is your only judge and I know he is has proud as I am of you!