Home Is Where The Heart Is

Home is where the heart is.

That is such a heavy statement.

I mean really. Think about it. Where your heart is, is where your home is.

The first question I have to ask myself is 'where is my heart?'. Does my heart lay where my thoughts are? Does it lay with the important people in my life? And if it does, who are those people? And why are they important to me? Why do I allow them to have part of me? What makes them so special? Why do they matter?

I have always tried to find peace through my relationships with other people. The thing is, I never can find peace in my relationships. I find comfort for a while, but never actual peace.

I do things to the extreme. When I love, I love with everything I have. When I hate, I hate with everything I have. I put everything I have into my relationships with others, in the hopes of finding peace within those relationships; however, because I do this, I tend to find more trouble then peace.

Matthew 6:19-21 (And I'm going to paraphrase this) says "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

My treasures on earth aren't things but people, which is probably more unhealthy then if my worldly treasures were things. Things can be replaced, and people can not. So when (It's always a question of when, not if.) I start to get myself into trouble within those relationships, it feels like the end of the world. It takes a mental, emotional, and physical toll on me.

That's not healthy.

This is something I've been thinking about lately. When I'm here in Evansville I do not feel at home so I go back to Mitchell, but I do not feel at home there either. No matter where I am, I just want to be somewhere else. The problem is not an external problem, but an internal one. "Where ever you go, there you are." I really am my worst enemy.

I realize now that I can not continue to try and find peace in my relationships. The only relationship I should be trying to find peace in is my relationship with God. That is where my heart should be.

I'm thankful that he continues to be faithful in my life while I figure all this out. That is true, unconditional love.

Where is your heart?