I had a plan. It was a good one. One that I felt I deserved to have be successful. However, God seemed to have a different plan for me.
I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty angry with God about it.
Angry enough that I've not really prayed in a very long time. It's like I've been trying to punish him. It sounds so stupid. Trying to punish God. Really, all I did was punish myself. It only made me drive a wedge between me and the people that matter in my life.
As unfaithful as I have been, God has continued to be faithful in mine. He has been patient with me while I've messed around and questioned everything.
He has been good to me, even when I haven't deserved it.
My grades got posted today. I had a 3.7 for the semester, and I have a cumulative GPA of 3.5. When I returned here in the fall, my GPA was a 1.2. I just sat there and cried when I saw it.
I knew returning to USI meant that I would have to back track. My return was last minute, so the classes I took in the fall didn't really count towards anything. They were just the classes I could get into at that point. This past semester I had to retake the three classes I had failed that last time I was here. I turned all three of those Fs into As.
This is why I'm back here. To finish what I started.
I don't always get what I want, but I get what I need.
Perhaps it's time for me to get out of my own way, and try to see what it is God has in store for me.
It's time to make some changes.
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