My grandfather died last Monday.
It was my mother's father, Walter Brown, and he is the 2nd grandfather I have lost in a 4 month period.
Needless to say, it was a rough week. I wasn't so much concerned with myself on this one. I was more concerned about my mother and sister. I think that's what got me the most. To watch Jennifer, Thursday during the funeral, was probably the most heart wrenching of all. She was really close to Pappaw, and you could feel her heart break. I think that was the hardest part for me.
I'm not sure how long ago it was, but some time ago we found out that Pappaw had a brain tumor. At the time that we found out is when Pappaw Joe was getting worst, and I was still trying to deal with that. I don't do well with watching people suffer. It's harder to watch people suffer then it is to deal with their death. To be honest, it was all too overwhelming; knowing that I was going to lose both of my grandfathers soon.
A couple weeks ago, my mother was pretty instant about me going to say my goodbyes to Pappaw. That's not an easy thing to do. With Pappaw Joe, every time you left was your last goodbye. You just didn't know. Thankfully, I have a very thoughtful friend who offered to go down with me so I didn't have to go alone. Saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do.
I had a couple of people who checked in on me last week, which was very much appreciated. I also had some friends who helped provide some distraction for me. I did the video for the funeral, and I was a pallbearer; so it was good to have people to distract me for a while.
After the funeral, I headed to Nashville to see the girls. I had a good drive down. It was nice to have some time to myself to think and process everything. Being with those girls is just what I needed. I missed them. Melissa and Rebecca had been gone for almost two weeks, and it was killing me.
I met with my advisor Friday morning to get my classes set up. I have a pretty kick ass schedule. 4 theatre classes, weight training, the story of Jesus, chapel, and my practicum which is sets. I mean, I'm pretty excited about it. It's a great schedule to get me back into the swing of a real school.
Friday, Alayna and I headed back home. We got to have a good chat on the way home. I mean if you have to make a long car trip with someone, Alayna Super might be a good person to do that with. The reason she came home early is because she was invited to play in the East-West All-Star Game. She played really well. Kind of proud of that kid.
By now you should know that I like to brag on these kids.
Today I was reading back through some of my 'notes' on facebook. I spent 2009 writing down a list of things I was thankful for every week. It was kind of crazy to go back a read through all of that. I talked alot about the girls, and the people had been influential to me. Almost every week had something in there about Beth Parsley and Kedra Burris. I talked alot about getting the job at the Lighthouse and how excited I was about it, and as the year went on you can see how it started to go down hill; even in the beginning stages. I talked about Katie and how much I liked working with her. On one account I talked about how we got in trouble for talking and giggling with one another while working. It's not that we weren't working, we were, but Keith didn't like us to associate with the other employees. I'm pretty sure he fears there being a revolt against him. I also talked about subbing and the beginning stages of G5.1. I talked about my first visit to Lipscomb and how weird it was that I went on a college visit there, but that it was a school worth considering. I also talked alot about how God was being faithful to me even though I was struggling with life. It's crazy how things turned out. Looking at how things were then, and how they are now. To see that process is neat.
I think I'm going to start writing down the things I am thankful for everyday. A lot of times I find myself just focusing on the negative, and I don't take the time to look at the positive and thank God for those things. It will be good for me start journaling again anyway, and since Senora bought me a really nice leather journal for graduation, I can use that.
Reader's think about the things you are thankful for, even the little things. Sometimes the little things make all the difference.
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