"Let the drummer kick that."

Mr. Tolliver died Thursday.

I woke up Friday morning to be phone blowing up from various people. I finally decided to answer when I saw that it was my mother calling me. She said, "I wanted to talk to you before you got on facebook." To which I said, "What happened?" "Mr. Tolliver died in his sleep last night."

Needless to say I was a mess. It took me a while to gain my composer enough to call into work and to get myself ready. I know how awful this sounds, but it's the truth. I'm more upset about losing him then I was about losing my grandfather. And let's be honest. He was the closest thing I had to a grandfather in this town. It's like losing three grandfather's in one year.

I took Tolliver's class my freshman year of high school, and had I not taken it then my high school career would've looked vastly different. Going into my freshman year, I went out for the SADD board but didn't make it. Tolliver encouraged me all year to stay involved in all the various activities SADD had. When it came time to go out for the board again, he really pushed me to go out for it again.

I knew going into it, that I had it. I realize that sounds cocky, but if Tolliver wanted you on the board, you were on the board. Regardless of what the officers wanted. I then went on to become the Vice-President, and then President.

When I graduated, I left with the intention to become the next Gerald Tolliver. I went to Indiana State (Tolliver's ado moder) as a Social Studies Ed major. I had even talked to Tolliver about when he planned on retiring. Now, I may not have continued with Social Studies Ed, but I did do half of what I set out to do which was to take over SADD when he retired.

SADD and Gerald Tolliver were a big part of my high school career. I was Tolliver's student helper my junior and senior years of high school. I hated my 6th period class my senior year, so I would go to Tolliver's room everyday during that class and then I was his student helper for 7th period. I basically spent the last half of my day in that room.

Tolliver was one of the few teachers I had that I was positive cared about who Lindsay Slone was, and who I was going to become. Even after graduating we stayed in touch. He knew my life better than most, and he always encouraged me to keep pushing forward.

I truly loved him, and my heart is broken. He will be missed greatly.

Somethings I learned from Gerald Tolliver:
-Culture is the way of life of a group of people.
-Norms are group shared rules of behavior.
-Anyways is not a word. It is anyway.
-"To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late, is to be left behind."
-I was worth something to someone.
-"Do what's best for the students. People are always going to be critical of what you are doing, but remember why you are there. Put the students first."

Six Weeks Is Too Long

I got to see my girls this weekend!

It had been almost 2 months since I had seen Lydia, 6 weeks since I had seen Rebecca and Melissa, and 5 weeks since I had seen Alayna. Needless to say I jumped each of them when I saw them. Melissa might of had her head smack off the wall, and I might of slightly knocked the wind out of Rebecca. Whoopsie. They're fine. It's fine.

It was a crazy busy weekend, but I loved it. I got time with both Moyra and Seb. I got to have dinner with Ashton. I got to hangout with Michele. I had breakfast with my parents, and I actually got to see Jennifer. Crazy. And.....I got to sleep in a real bed. It was a good weekend.

Friday, I went to the pep session at the high school. It wasn't what I expected, which is a good thing. It started off with the band leading a parade through the high school. I thought that was pretty cool. The teachers did a flash mob, and almost all the teachers participated. Even the ones who usually don't participate in fun. Then they played a teacher volleyball game. It was slightly entertaining.

The reason I went to the pep session is because SADD was a having a "Kiss the Pig" contest. The teacher that raised the most money would have to kiss a pig. In my head I pictured a baby pig, but this thing was huge. It was actually one of the SADD Sponsors that had to kiss it. Things seem to be going really well with SADD this year, and I'm so happy about that. I'm glad it was left in good hands.

This is going to be another crazy week. Em's wedding is this weekend so the week will consist of taking care of all the last minute things. I can't wait for the wedding though. We have a stretch Hummer to take us from the church to the reception. It's going to be a good night.

Now to go and try to be productive.

Reality? What's that?

I finally found an appropriate sized bowl for my air popped popcorn. And it's green, so double win.

I'm sitting here with my delicious popcorn, listening to some Glee, and enjoying some alone time.

Sometimes in life, you just need a time out. I need some time to just chill and clear my head. There is so much crap going through my mind, that it's hard to process everything or think clearly. For example: Today while at Walmart, I went to the bathroom. I walked in and was like "Where are all the stalls?". It was then that I noticed the urinals. AND the whole 1st week of being here, I could not get my key to go into the lock of my apartment. It was so frustrating. I finally threw my keys and told my roommate to figure it out. That's when I found out I had been using my key to the church building to try to get into my apartment. I've been so scatter brained.

I went home this past weekend because 1) CallieAnn was going to be in Mitchell and 2) it was going to be my last chance for a while. Within the first hour of being in Mitchell, I remembered why I fought so hard to get out of there. The weekend wasn't necessarily bad. In fact, I got to visit with some people who really made me feel better about life. Those people are a real encouragement to me. I got to surprise Moyra, and I jumped on Seb when I saw him. We got to have some really good cousin time with just the three of us. I missed those two like crazy.

I did get to return here with a slightly different mind set. Sometimes it just takes saying things out loud, to help you sort through things and get a different perspective. I'm done sitting here, stressing about life. I could let all this stuff cut me down, or I could get up and do something about it. I'm choosing to do something about it. I'm going to work hard this semester and get a kick ass GPA. I'm going to work and save money, so that I can get an apartment next year. (Planning for the future. Very adult of me. Ha!) I'm going to enjoy the time I have with my friends here. I'm going to start working on my relationship with God, and let that be what drives me. It's time to stop letting other things decide my outlook. It's time to do something different.

Today is Melissa's 19th birthday. Happy Birthday to my adopted Little Sister. I love you!

(The picture is from Monday morning. Dad made french toast for breakfast. Yum!)

Backtracking

Sometimes, life doesn't go as you planned it.

I was suppose to move to Nashville Saturday; however, instead I moved back to Evansville.

I won't get into all the logistics of that mess, but I will say money is a bitch. I'm not going to lie, I'm more than a little bitter about being here. I didn't leave USI because I didn't like it. I left because I didn't do well and needed to get my act together, which I did. I just graduated Magna Cum Laude and have come back to a place where I am on academic probation. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around that. I didn't want to have to come back here because it is a constant reminder of my failures. I put all that past me, and yet here I am reliving it. It's hard for me to get past that.

I will say I felt a little better about life after I went to class. It wasn't because it was a particularly interesting class. It helped put things back into perspective for me, and remind me why I am here. I do have a goal, and I just have to keep pushing through so I can accomplish it. I kind of feel like this was God's way of telling me that I need to finish something I start.

I rarely stick with the things I start. I was always taught that when things get difficult it's best to give up and walk away. I'm still trying to get out of that. The two things I have stuck with the longest have been subbing at Mitchell, and helping with the youth group at the MCOC. I just have to keep reminding myself why I am here. There is a goal.

I had the option of staying home another semester, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I did find out that I would've had a place to live so that I could be a real adult; however, I was offered that about a week too late. To be honest, I think had I stayed, I wouldn't have finished school at all. I had to do this, even if it isn't the ideal situation. At least I'm fighting for something I want. At least I'm actually setting goals and making every effort to accomplish them. I have come a long way in the past three years. I just have to apply all that here this time around.

Already today, I have run into 5 of my former students and both of my cousins. Every time I ran into a student I just said, "Surprise!". Sigh.

Pluses of being back in Evansville:
1) I'm not in Mitchell.
2) I'm working towards a goal.
3) One of my best friends is here.

I'm sure I'll think of other pluses at some point, but that's what you get for now. I have to make the best out of this crummy situation. Stay posted.

Pappaw

Sometimes, I find it difficult to find the right words to start these things.

My grandfather died last Monday.

It was my mother's father, Walter Brown, and he is the 2nd grandfather I have lost in a 4 month period.

Needless to say, it was a rough week. I wasn't so much concerned with myself on this one. I was more concerned about my mother and sister. I think that's what got me the most. To watch Jennifer, Thursday during the funeral, was probably the most heart wrenching of all. She was really close to Pappaw, and you could feel her heart break. I think that was the hardest part for me.

I'm not sure how long ago it was, but some time ago we found out that Pappaw had a brain tumor. At the time that we found out is when Pappaw Joe was getting worst, and I was still trying to deal with that. I don't do well with watching people suffer. It's harder to watch people suffer then it is to deal with their death. To be honest, it was all too overwhelming; knowing that I was going to lose both of my grandfathers soon.

A couple weeks ago, my mother was pretty instant about me going to say my goodbyes to Pappaw. That's not an easy thing to do. With Pappaw Joe, every time you left was your last goodbye. You just didn't know. Thankfully, I have a very thoughtful friend who offered to go down with me so I didn't have to go alone. Saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do.

I had a couple of people who checked in on me last week, which was very much appreciated. I also had some friends who helped provide some distraction for me. I did the video for the funeral, and I was a pallbearer; so it was good to have people to distract me for a while.

After the funeral, I headed to Nashville to see the girls. I had a good drive down. It was nice to have some time to myself to think and process everything. Being with those girls is just what I needed. I missed them. Melissa and Rebecca had been gone for almost two weeks, and it was killing me.

I met with my advisor Friday morning to get my classes set up. I have a pretty kick ass schedule. 4 theatre classes, weight training, the story of Jesus, chapel, and my practicum which is sets. I mean, I'm pretty excited about it. It's a great schedule to get me back into the swing of a real school.

Friday, Alayna and I headed back home. We got to have a good chat on the way home. I mean if you have to make a long car trip with someone, Alayna Super might be a good person to do that with. The reason she came home early is because she was invited to play in the East-West All-Star Game. She played really well. Kind of proud of that kid.

By now you should know that I like to brag on these kids.

Today I was reading back through some of my 'notes' on facebook. I spent 2009 writing down a list of things I was thankful for every week. It was kind of crazy to go back a read through all of that. I talked alot about the girls, and the people had been influential to me. Almost every week had something in there about Beth Parsley and Kedra Burris. I talked alot about getting the job at the Lighthouse and how excited I was about it, and as the year went on you can see how it started to go down hill; even in the beginning stages. I talked about Katie and how much I liked working with her. On one account I talked about how we got in trouble for talking and giggling with one another while working. It's not that we weren't working, we were, but Keith didn't like us to associate with the other employees. I'm pretty sure he fears there being a revolt against him. I also talked about subbing and the beginning stages of G5.1. I talked about my first visit to Lipscomb and how weird it was that I went on a college visit there, but that it was a school worth considering. I also talked alot about how God was being faithful to me even though I was struggling with life. It's crazy how things turned out. Looking at how things were then, and how they are now. To see that process is neat.

I think I'm going to start writing down the things I am thankful for everyday. A lot of times I find myself just focusing on the negative, and I don't take the time to look at the positive and thank God for those things. It will be good for me start journaling again anyway, and since Senora bought me a really nice leather journal for graduation, I can use that.

Reader's think about the things you are thankful for, even the little things. Sometimes the little things make all the difference.

SADD

So the last 2 weeks have just been a blur. They've been filled with graduation and graduation parties, working a wedding, college week of camp, softball games, editing pictures, working on school stuff, looking for a "real" job, a boat trip, Safe Night, Relay for Life, and some great hangout time with friends.

I feel like I need a time out.

Last night was Relay for Life, and it was my last night with my students. Unfortunately, we had storms coming and I didn't feel comfortable having a group of teenagers out in the middle of that. I haven't decided if that was me being responsible or me being a pansy. Don't get me wrong, I love storms. Just not so much when other people's children are out in the middle of it.

Last year at Rivervale, Tolliver had brought up the possibility that he would not be returning in the fall due to his eyesight getting worse. It was then that he asked the kids who they thought would be a good replacement. A lot of names got thrown out and shot down for various reasons. So I told Tolliver that I would be home for another year, and if it came down to it that Tyler Phillips and I could just co-sponsor. He was on board with that, and the kids were happy with that.

The day before school starts, I find out that Tolliver is not coming back and neither is Tyler. I chose to continue with the process for two reasons. 1) SADD has always had a special place in my life, and I didn't want to see it fall into the wrong hands. I think had I not become so involved with it while I was in high school, my life could have easily looked very different. 2) I made a commitment to not only these kids, but to Gerald Tolliver. You can say what you want about him, but he played an important role in my high school career and I have a lot of respect for him because of that. He was one of the few teachers that cared about me not only as a student but as a person.

I went into this with very little information, and really I was going off of things we had done five years ago. Luckily, I had Evie Sehr as my president. She was my right arm the whole year. I didn't need to ask her to do anything because by the time I would ask she would already have it done or be working on it. She might be the best president since Libby Allen herself. You're probably like, "Wait a minute, Lindsay. Weren't you the president of SADD?" I was, and as Tolliver has said I was one of the best. However, I was also power hungry. I had a passion for SADD and I really wanted to see great things happen, but my methods were not the best. I developed a couple of nicknames that year. One being Hitler. I actually had one of my freshman board members go home after Rivervale and tell her family that I was Hitler. The other was a five letter word that I think people were afraid to say to my face. I've said this before, I wasn't the nicest person in high school. Not proud of that fact, but there it is.

I knew that I would only be able to sponsor SADD for the year due to that whole me not being a "real" teacher thing, and that I would be leaving to finish my education else where. I started looking for my replacement very early in the school year. I started paying closer attention to the faculty at MHS. It helped that I was a sub because I got to hear not only the faculties view of each other, but the students' view of the faculty. Whoever took this over needed to have the respect of not only the rest of the faculty, but of the students. Those kids won't work for people they don't respect.

Next years sponsors are Jessica Morgan and Megan Elgin. The days that I would sub for Morgan were some of the few times that the kids would complain about having a sub. I had always heard good things not only from the faculty but from the students about her, and I knew that she was someone who actually cared about these kids. When I first got hired on as the sponsor, Megan was 1 of 2 faculty members that sent me a message congratulating me. She had told me then that if I ever needed help to let her know. I didn't have a lot of faculty initiative. Everyone wanted to complain about the various issues, but very few actually tried to be part of the solution. So I was appreciative and impressed that she offered to step up and be part of the solution.

I'm excited for next year. It's hard to leave, but I know that this organization and the students involved are being left in good hands. That gives me a little piece of mind.

Stories of A Substitute: The Final Take

Today was my last day subbing at Mitchell High School.

3 years ago when I came home, I knew that my time in Mitchell couldn't be just about me. That's why I got involved with the teens at the MCOC, and it's what led me into subbing. I knew that working with the teens at the MCOC would be great, but that it would only give me access to a certain group of kids. I decided that I would apply to be a sub at Mitchell High School because it would give me more access to a wider range of kids.

The first day I subbed was Wednesday, October 29, and it was for Julie Colglazier. I remember being pretty nervous, which looking back on it was probably really silly. After I subbed for her that day, I apologized to her for being such a pain when I was in her class.

One of the highlights from the days that I would sub was always lunch. I'm not really sure why because it never really has been that exciting. Most of the time they all sit there and complain about something. When I first started, I would always sit up stairs in the teachers lounge at the "Men's table", and listen to Tolliver, Giggy, and Seitzinger talk about the good ol' days when coke was a nickel or whatever.

Then, this year one of the newer teachers asked me to eat lunch in the FACS room with some of the other newer teachers. That kind of blew me away because most of those teachers had never actually acknowledged my presence, so I'm sure that they didn't know what to do with me. After that, I just kind of kept eating with them. Some of the students have affectionately nicknamed it 'the cool kids table'. Does that make me a 'cool kid'?

Though, I have to admit, I'm not sure I want to be lumped into all of that.

I'd have to say one of the 'highlights' of this year was when I subbed for Kearns, and Jake pop, locked, and dropped it in the middle of class. Or how about last week when one of my students asked another student for a dip, with me standing right there. Not only am I the sub in the room, I am also the SADD Sponsor.

The moral in that place isn't so great, and I don't just mean amongst the students. That became more evident to me this year, while sponsoring SADD. Everyone wanted to complain, but no one wanted to be part of the solution. You can't really expect these kids to care, when the adults in their lives don't care.

Every once in a while, Tolliver would get me refocused and remind me why I was there. I wasn't there for me or for the faculty, but for those kids. I had to remind myself of that a few times.

That place will suffocate you, if you let it.

I have had a lot of frustrating moments in that place, but I have also had a lot of great moments. I've built relationships with kids that I would not have been able to had I not been in the high school. It's also been a learning experience, and it's what pushed me to go into education. Crazy I know.

Some of these kids have left a real impression on me, and they will be missed. It has been an interesting, wonderful, and at times frustrating 3 years, and I've loved every minute of it.

Not gonna lie, the past couple of weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I've worked on graduation videos which I love doing, but I'm doing several videos for kids I love. I started with a hard one, which was Alayna, and I'm ending on a hard one, which is Melissa.

I've also got graduation presents to work on for Rebecca and Melissa. That's been hard. That's made things harder. It's weird that they are graduating. I've spent 4 years investing in these two girls, and they have just made me so proud. I know that Friday will be rough, but I also know that they are entering a new and exciting phase of their lives and I am just so excited for them.

Shout out to Rebecca Burris who is not only in the top 10 of her class, but holds the #2 spot. I'm so proud of you, Rebecca. ;)

Disgusting

Well........I'm a college graduate.

Graduation: While walking up to the IU Auditorium, I could hear bagpipes. As I turned the corner I noticed that there was in fact a man in a kilt, play the bagpipes. I guess that was to class it up a bit. I stood in line with some rather interesting people. In fact, I sat next to a feisty Bulgarian woman. That was entertaining. While in line, the people around me wanted to know what G5.1 stood for. Here's how that conversation went: Random girl:"What is G51?"  Me:"It's G5.1."  RG: jokingly, "Oh. Was that your GPA? You little over achiever, you."  Me:"Oh yea."  RG:"How did you manage that?"  Me: jokingly, "I slept with all my professors."  Then, I tried to explain that G5.1 was a rap group that my cousin and I started together. That he was graduating that night too, and that's why it said Ebony & Ivory. He was Ebony and I was Ivory. They found the truth to be even more ridiculous then the lie.

Disgusting Story: So my Mammaw was up for graduation, and was talking about puking. (I know I gave you a heads up.) Anyway, ever since then I've been thinking about the same thing over and over again. During Spring Break my junior year of high school myself, Erin, and Ashton were going to Bloomington to find prom shoes for Erin. Erin and I had already eaten, but Ashton wanted us to go through Taco Bell and get him some food. He got his 3 soft tacos, and we were on our way. Well, Erin was really sensitive to smells, and she just couldn't handle the smell of Ashton's tacos. As we turned onto the highway, we rolled down the windows so she could get some air. However, that apparently wasn't enough. She threw up out the window, and it went all over my back window, right next to where Ashton was sitting, eating his tacos. I'm one of those people if I see it, I'm gonna do it and I did. I'm driving on 37, puking in my lap and Erin is puking out the side of the car. And Ashton is sitting in the back seat, eating his tacos. I pulled over to the side of the road and tried to gain my composure, because not only was a puking but I was laughing. It was a mess. I eventually got myself together, and we pulled over in Oolitic at this gas station. I got out of the car, and the guys in the truck next to us said, "Taco Bell?" The three of us together, "Yep." After we, and by we I mean Ashton, cleaned up some of the puke we decided that we were going to need to clean my car out. Once again, by we, I mean Ashton and Erin cleaned out my car. We get to the car wash and they hose out my car, and then they hose me down. Then they made me walk to Kmart to purchase an outfit that was not covered in water and puke, while they drove my car. Oh....Fond memories.

I don't know why that is so vivid in my head. It makes me laugh every time I think about it because it was just so ridiculous. The mental picture of it is just insane. God must have been like, "What are those 3 idiots doing?" Dumb.

Sorry for the disgusting story.

I've started working on graduation videos, and while looking for pictures for mine I came across a lot of interesting things.

1: I found my funeral plans that I made for Tolliver's class, my freshman year of high school. That was a weird feeling. Most of that stuff has changed, but even then I didn't want any flowers or anything sent to the funeral home. I wanted it sent to the American Cancer Society. Weird.
2: I found my high school diploma.
3: I found an e-mail that Mr. Giggy had sent my mother because I was failing English. This was during the "Ashley Phase". Surprise Surprise. It's interesting to look back on my grades and see how awesome I did my freshman year, and see how my grades started to digress when she entered the picture.
4: I found my final from Advance Psychology, which was to write 10 nice things about everyone in the room. Most of mine say something about SADD and me being funny. I had a few people write that I was outspoken and stood my ground, and a couple of people wrote about how I always stood up for the underdog. A ton of people put that I was sarcastic. Who knew? One girl put 'Nice to most people!:)', and then some others put things about how I was brutally honest and told people what I thought of them.

I wasn't exactly the nicest person in high school. I guess it depended on who you were. I did tend to stand up for the underdog, and I did tell people what I thought about them. I'm proud of myself for always taking up for the underdog, but not so much proud of the way I did it. That was then, and this is now. I'm not who I was.

Anyway....

We won our softball game Tuesday night. We are playing much better this year. I had an awesome catch Monday night, and my excitement was clear on my face.

Grades came in. 4.0 for the semester.

I was a little late to work today because I completely forgot about subbing. However, I made it there by 8:35. One kid was like, "How did you get here so fast?" I told him I apparated into the building. I subbed for 3 periods, and I am getting paid for a full day. It's nice.

That's what I have for now. Just a bunch of randomness, but in all fairness that's what this blog is all about.

Magna Cum Laude

What a ridiculous week I've had.

It's finals week which basically means a lot of cramming and very little sleep. On top of that I worked the polls (Shout out to Gerald Tolliver who won the City Council District #2 spot), I've had SADD Board Interviews this week, and I've had various meetings through out the week.

One of the guys working the polls, stood there talking to one of my students about the good ol' days at Mitchell High School. I heard him say, "My time at MHS was the high light of my life." He was missing some teeth. My reply, "I bet it was."

It's a little weird that it's time for SADD Interviews to be happening. It's also weird to be the one conducting the interviews. It's weird being the one in charge. It's crazy to think I left 5 years ago with the intent to come back and be the next Gerald Tolliver, and that I actually came back and became the sponsor of SADD. That's half of the original plan.

Five years ago I graduated from Mitchell and moved to Terre Haute to attend ISU for social studies education. I was miserable. Of course, why wouldn't I have been? That was a half assed decision that I made based around a girl. (That whole story is a little too long to share here. If you want to know that part of my story, then you can ask me.) Then from ISU I went to USI for Radio/TV. Once again, I was miserable. I was still in a bit of a funk from the previous 4 years. That's when I made the decision to come home.

I came home feeling so defeated. I had failed. I had failed my parents, all those who had invested in me, and more importantly, I failed myself.

It didn't make feel any better to hear people (people who had no business having an opinion on my life) tell me how disappointed they were in me. How taking a year off would mean that I would never go back and that I would end up staying in Mitchell forever, working for minimum wage. That made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside.

I was determined that wouldn't happen to me.


Not only did I go back to school, but I kicked ass doing it. Say what you want about Ivy Tech, I don't really care. I've spent my time here working my butt off, and it has paid off.

Next Friday, I will be graduating Magna Cum Laude (with high honors).

In the end the only thing that matters is that I have accomplished something that I can be proud of.

The past 3 years have been exciting and frustrating and full of so much growth. I came home defeated and I will be leaving redeemed.

Side Note: I'd like to point out that Destiny turned 8 this week. I may have been emotional. Haha. I love that kid so much.

"Harry Potter is a bitch."

At about 6am Friday, Nashville time, I woke up and freaked out a little bit because I realized I was in Nashville. There was no sleeping after that.

I spent Friday morning on campus taking meetings with various people. I met with Aaron Burtch, who is the transfer counselor. Here is how that conversation went. Aaron: "I guess you got your acceptance letter then?" Me: "Nope." Aaron: "Oh well, it's in the mail." And then some major excitement on my part. What can you get from that? I have officially been accepted to Lipscomb University!

Then I got to see the theatre department's production of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

The rest of the weekend was spent with CallieAnn, just relaxing. That is just what I needed. 48 hours to just relax and be away from Mitchell. Plus I got to eat Genghis. Yum!

It's possible that we watched 'The Deathly Hallows Part 1' both Friday and Saturday night. It is also possible that we were looking up information in the book, while we were watching the movie. And it is also possible that we discussed what our patronus would be.

Yes, we are two grown women discussing what our patronus would be.

Monday was the Joel Penton presentation. It went really well. I heard a lot of positive feedback from the students. I also had a lot of students who came to the concert that night as well. Ryan Holliday, who came with Joel, performed a concert that night. It was a really great night, and I actually had a couple of faculty members who came out for the concert. I appreciate when the faculty members show some sort of support of what these students are doing.

I had a random thought pop into my head today. I kind of miss doing, "So, Just Say It."

I can also tell I'm not going to be real productive today.

c'est la vie

(The picture is a cardboard cutout of Amy Grant, courtesy of Miranda Giles.)

Finally

It is finally Thursday, which means it is finally time for my not so random disappearance.

Every once in a while I have to get away from Mitchell and do my own thing.

This town is suffocating.

I will say that this week has gone better than last week. I thought last week was never going to end.

Saturday, my parents came home from Vegas. They brought me home a flask. You have to appreciate the irony there. I think I'm going to put my coke in it and take it to family gatherings. ;)

Sunday, we went to Louisville to visit Pappaw. That was kind of rough. I think it's harder to watch someone suffer than to deal with death. I don't want to see him suffer. I just can't handle it.

It's definitely not an easy thing, but we weren't promised life would be easy.

During my Graphic Design class, Monday, I found out that we were taking the final this coming Monday. I can't be there due to Joel Penton coming to speak, so I freaked out a little bit. I asked if I could take the final early or the week after. Here was my professors response, "The test isn't worth very many points, and you have a solid A. I don't think there is anything you could do at this point to not have an A." That right there made up for the awful week I had just had.

Then on Tuesday night I had Physical Science. We were all kind of freaking out because we just started the Physics unit and there are 7 chapters to cover in a 2 week period. The professor basically told us not to worry about it. That the test would be 2 problems and would be set up like a practicum, and we could work with as many people as we wanted. He also told us that we didn't have to do any of the homework, but that if we had already started on it to go a head and put it in our notebook and we would get extra credit. I had already done 3 chapters.


AND I get to leave for Nashville after class tonight.

So really, this week has been much better than last week.

Really?!

What a week.

This was probably the 2nd most stressful week I've had this year.

My week was crazy busy between school, subbing, and SADD.

Then I had to deal with frustrating people all week. Between demands of teenagers, people over stepping their boundaries, my grandfather being in the ICU, and people who just simply don't care.

I won't say a whole lot on the subject because I'll start ranting, but I do want to say this. Unless you are willing to step up and be part of the solution, then you should stop complaining.

I'm really proud of my students this week. They did a great job with the talent show, and they raised $975 for the American Cancer Society. A special shout out to Senora Allen and Tara Ramey who performed in the talent show, and to Kevin Giggy who made the programs for us.

We had a great Emcee: Mike Shannon, and a wonderful group of judges: Deb Shannon, Krystal Shetler, & Sam Craig. Thom Ulmet, who is over the Relay For Life, came to show his support and give out some extra goodies to the students who performed.

3rd place: Julia Heatherly, who sang I Hope You Dance.
2nd place: Rebecca Burris, Abby Holmquist, Melissa Wilson, & Alayna Super, who danced across the stage to Single Ladies.
1st place: Alan Foddrill, who sang Don't Stop Believin'.

All of our performers did very well. Though, I have to admit my favorite performance of the evening was by Dustin Parkes, who played his guitar and sang an original song.

Thank you to all those who came out to support these kids as they helped to raise money for the American Cancer Society!

Flat Stanley

Apologies for my neglect of this blog. The past month has been kind of a crazy blur.

Let's see.....Where to start?

I hate going to the doctor. Every time I go, they find something wrong with me. I finally had to break down and go a few weeks ago though. I had been really dizzy and finally my dad convinced me to go. Apparently I had Vertigo. Vertigo is caused from a calcium build up in the inner ear. The calcium crystals come off the walls of the inner ear and kind of float around. It reminded me of the Wracksports in Harry Potter.

Why yes. I did just make a Harry Potter reference. Your welcome.

BIG NEWS:

I found out that I get to graduate in May. I am really excited about that, and really freaked out. I wasn't planning on graduating until December. I've had to regroup, and make a lot of big decisions in a small period of time. Graduating early means there is the possibility of me getting out of Mitchell earlier. That might be the most exciting part of it all. My application for admission has been sent to Lipscomb, and now all that is left is to wait. 

Last week a received a interesting piece of mail. Flat Stanly has come to stay with me for a couple weeks. Destiny's 2nd grade class read the book Flat Stanley, and are doing the project. They had to send Flat Stanley to 3 people and have them record his adventures. So far, Stanley has participated in a warm up game for my theatre appreciation class, eaten at Asuka, and helped me watch Sophia. On the books for him the rest of his visit: a concert, a play, subbing, Spring Mill, and perhaps the Gus Grissom Memorial. 

Other than all of that, my month has been dominated with getting things taken care of with SADD. We have a lot going on in April. We are currently getting things in order for the annual talent show. We have all of our judges and our MC, and we are currently working on getting student and teacher talent. We also have our annual prom convocation coming up. This year our speaker is a guy by the name of Joel Penton. He played football for the Buckeyes. We are pretty excited about him coming. We also have Officer elections as well as board interviews. Then we have Die for SADD day. There is a lot going on there right now. I am also in the process of finding my replacement. I want to make sure that this organization and the students are left in good hands.

I don't really have any sort of conclusion here.....

End.

Forever Young

What a week. I feel like I could sleep for 24 hours straight and not think twice about it.

I've not spit out a coherent sentence, that didn't involve my voice cracking like a 13 year old boy going through puberty, in at least two weeks. Puberty. It's fine. Everyone goes through it at some point.

Where to start......

I got to meet Norene, which is Darrel's first wife. I had always heard of her, but hadn't actually met her. I was 3 when they split, and since I've repressed my childhood I have no memory of her. However, I have always heard good things about her. It was great to meet her. We carried on a 20 minute conversation like we had known each other for years, and she called me adorable like 3 times in midst of it. I mean what's not to like? We got to talking about my Aunt Sandy and how she brags on me, and I said "Well, she is kind of my favorite." To which she sayed something like, "If I were still around, I would be your favorite too." I knew I liked her at that moment. The next day she told me that I might be her new favorite. This woman has a good judge of character. ;)

I did the video for the funeral. Due to technical difficulties with Loraine(my laptop), I didn't get the video done until 3am Thursday morning. By that time I was an emotional mess, so I decided that instead of going to bed I would go a head and take my shower. As soon as I was about to fall asleep, my father began snoring. So sleep did not happen Wednesday, which did not make Thursday any easier.

The kids(Darrel, Sandy, Dennis) did the eulogy for Pappaw. Talk about an emotional mess. They all did really well. I was really proud of my dad. He shared some very wise words. He said, "I'd like to say that this man was a great man, but this man is not the man I knew. This is just his body. The man I know has gone on to a better place. And he may not be able to fix our broken hearts today, but we can help each other by showing each other love and respect." My father is not perfect, but he is a good man.

The funeral was very much a tribute it Pappaw's life. He loved others not only with his words, but with his actions. He was a good man.

You'll remember I told you he was a huge Johnny Cash fan. Probably the biggest Johnny fan you'd come across. His casket, is the same make and model of Johnny Cash's. My cousin, Nick, said, "He always had to have the last laugh."

He also has a single Christmas light tucked in his pocket. :)

Moving on to Winterfest.......

Friday night was the only night that I think I got angry. The man who spoke, spoke about science stuff that was really hard to follow. Then, he brought a man on stage to talk about his twins. When they were born they had brain damage. They showed the scans to show us how much of their brains were affected. Then the guy talked about how many prayers had gone up that these two little girls would be healed. Then he showed the scans from a week later. The scans were completely clean. The speaker gave the kids the impression that if you pray for God to take the bad thing away, he will. Really?!? Because as far as I know, Joe Day is dead. How many prayers went up that the cancer would be taken away? Hundreds? Thousands? When I say the man was a big deal, I'm not exaggerating. His story was in the news, the Internet, the radio, it was even in Reader's Digest.

God does what is best. What is best, is not always what we want. Perhaps that speaker should have explained that. What happens when these kids pray for something to happen, and they don't get the answer they want? What will that do to their walk?

Let me get off my soap box now.

Friday, I did get to have some time alone with CallieAnn, which was much needed. She helped shed some wisdom on life. I love her for many reasons.

I had a great time with the girls in my room. I had Brenna, Evie, Maggie, and Alayna. I will argue to say that I had the most interesting room. These girls are all different from one another, but they get along so well. Poor Brenna. I'm not sure she knew what to do with all of us. Haha, but she fit in well. I was able to share my story with them, and we got to have some really great bonding time. I'd have to say the time I got with my girls was the best part of the trip.

Get Rhythm

Pappaw Joe passed away at 9:57 this morning.

Pappaw loved Johnny Cash. He was his idol. And, you know, I bet he spent his day just messing around on the guitar with Ol' Johnny.

Taiylor and I decided today that we needed to light the bell up tonight as a tribute. Words can not describe what was being felt as we stood there looking up at Pappaw's creation. Everyone who drives past there tonight, will see that and wonder. Those who knew who he was will know why only the bell is lit.

I came home to find a coke and starburst sitting on my doorstep. I have some pretty wonderful people in my life. It's comforting to know I have such a wonderful support system.

Pappaw,
I love you, and I'll be seeing ya. Have fun with Johnny, and make sure you build them one heck of a Christmas lights display up there. ;)

Rest in peace.

Ahead of the Game

I've just spent, literally, the last 5 hours studying for my physical science test. I think my head is going to explode.

I hate science.

Last night I had my Graphic Design I class. I'm really enjoying it, and enjoying my professor. She really knows what she is talking about, and she is enthusiastic about it which makes me want to make more of an effort.

We are mostly working in Indesign. Right now we are going through the basics of the program, which I have to admit is super boring. I'm pretty comfortable in Indesign, but I think that has a lot to do with my Intro to Computer Graphics class.

The professor I had for that class did a really good job with creating the projects. Our final project was creating a booklet in Indesign. (Mine was about Michael Jackson, clearly.) That proved useful in my Typography class last semester when we had to make a booklet about typography, and since I didn't learn anything in that class it was nice to have already had experience in the program.

In the Intro class, I learned how to layout a design and manipulate text to flow with my design. So, shout out to Shelley Given for developing projects that helped prepare me for the rest of my graphic classes.

I'm learning more in depth the importance of text in a design and the different ways to manipulate it to make a coherent design. It's interesting.

So to wrap this up, go out and be creative readers!

A.D.D. And Me Take #3

Tuesdays and Thursdays are brutal. I probably should have rethought that whole 7 hour break thing. There is only so much studying I can take.

On Tuesday nights I have Physical Science, which I hate. I had so much trouble paying attention. I finally had to just whip out my mini slinky. That's right, I have a mini slinky in my back pack along with one of those Tangles. I have to keep my hands busy or else I get fidgety.

My professor probably thought I wasn't paying attention, but I was. In fact, I've been making reference to random things from the lesson this week. On Wednesday, Gary was talking about gold and its worth, and how it was silly that it is worth so much when its not really useful. Then he was like, "What would be different if all the gold on the earth was removed?" Meaning it rhetorically, but I replied with, "The density of Earth would change".

sigh

I had to bust the slinky back out in my music appreciation class, Thursday. The professor reads straight from the book, and then plays songs for us to listen to as an example. We are in the Renaissance period right now, and it all sounds the same to me. On the plus side as an intro she did play 'It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday' by Boyz II Men. I might have sang along. 3hrs of listening to someone read and listening to the music of Monteverdi is exhausting.

(The picture is the new face of Sunny Bright Productions.)

Just Not Right

Our house is for sale, and today was the first day that we had someone come and look at the house. So this meant that a lot of cleaning went down today. I concentrated mostly on my room because it was in fact a disaster.

I got to thinking, as I was cleaning, what are these people going to think when they walk in here? The first thing people will see when they walk in my room is my desk top with my laptop sitting right next to it, a bookshelf that contains the Harry Potter series, The Lord of the Rings series, and a bunch of children's books, and a large poster of Michael Jackson. Then as I look to the right I notice the G5.1 poster that is hanging on my wall, and it makes me giggle a little.

You don't even want to get me started on the massive DVD collection. My room mainly consist of palm trees, movies, and Michael Jackson.

I'm pretty ridiculous.

Tonight was my night to have Sophia. That kid is ridiculous. She tried to eat my hair. Then I caught her kissing her reflection in the mirror and talking to herself. (shakes head)

I'm teaching her to beat box which my sister hates, but I think it is super funny.

And the topping on my evening was preparing one of the baby shower games for tomorrow. We are playing a game that requires freezing little plastic babies in ice cubes. Just doesn't seem right.

I'll let the picture speak for itself.

Goodnight!

"We Rap"

My Thursday was much better than my Tuesday.

My Tuesdays and Thursdays are about the same. I have a seven hour break between classes that day. Makes for a long day. I'm currently looking for a part time job to work during that time; you know, since I don't have enough jobs as it is. Plus side is it will give me something to do for those hours, and it will give me a steady income.

In the mean time I'm spending that time studying and doing homework. I tried to get a head with my science, and it was a fail. I couldn't even understand what the question was asking. Physical science is going to dominate my life this semester. I did get to meet my friend Matt for coffee, though, so it gave me a nice little break.

My final class for the week is music appreciation. We did the usual introduction and telling of ourselves, and she wanted us to talk about our musical background and what genre we listen to. Most people were talking about country and rock and some jazz. Then you get to the little white girl in the back of the room.

I say my name and what my major is. I tell them about Nashville and Lipscomb and the theatre ed stuff. A couple people were kind of excited about that. Then I get to my musical background and I was like, "Yea, I did the choir thing in high school. And my cousin and I mess around with rapping. We "rap" (I actually did the air quotes). We've kind of got a group, whatever." My professor seemed pretty excited about that. I guess she is starting to listen to a little rap. Then of course I told them I listen to mainly rap, hip-hop, and R&B, and that Michael Jackson was my favorite. To which my professor was like, "He died too soon. Too young." And I replied with, "Yea. I might have cried a little."

Luckily I don't get embarrassed easily.

This music class is going to be interesting. We started with Medieval music last night. Not a fan, but then again I guess the whole point of the class is to get an appreciation of different genres and the history of music. However, she didn't really lecture. She just read straight from the book. It's hard to pay attention that way. 

That was my Thursday.

Logic

7:43 Crawl out of bed after a restless night.

8:05 Leave for school after much protesting from the parents.

9:13 Some nimrod slams on their breaks while entering the parking lot at Ivy Tech; thus causing me to slide into the curb, ripping my wheel off the axle.

9:37 Show up to class late due to my car breaking down in the school parking lot. (Ps...So many helpful people who drove past honking and yelling and with the occasional middle finger. Classy.)

10:56 Repeat myself for the 3rd time that we do not want the flippen hypnotist.

12:45 Lunch with Dad. (Positive from my day)

3:30 Go to my advising appointment only to have my "advisor" freak out on me and insist that she is not my advisor and to go elsewhere. (Many helpful people at Ivy Tech today.)

4:37 Spot Geno in student commons; thus I went into hiding as to not be spotted.

6-8 Physical Science. It will be the death of me.

Clearly I didn't have a good day. I mean didn't we learn in drivers ed not to slam on your breaks on ice or snow or rain? I slept through drivers ed and even I know that. Come on. Junior High students who take basic science even understand that. Doesn't have something to do with friction? I don't know. Science isn't my thing. I'm just saying it's logic. Logic.

Ps....The high school parking lot is clear, but the roads are not clear. Were they hoping the kids would just apparate into the parking lot? Logic.

On the up side I did enjoy my theater appreciation class. I'm guessing it will be my favorite class, but I won't know that for sure until later in the semester. Hands down my physical science class will be my least favorite because it is in fact science. I got lucky and do not have that one guy for graphic design. My professor kind of has an intense personality, but I think she is going to be helpful in learning the course material.

The graphic design class is a class that I have with a people that I've had just about every one of my graphic classes with. A couple of them liked one of our professors so well that they are taking another one of her classes. It's a drawing class or else I would probably take it too. I'm just not so good at the whole drawing thing. You give me a camera and we can talk. You give me a pencil and paper and I'm lost. One girl made me kind of chuckle. She said that this professor was the perfect mix of two of the other professors we had . That one was kind of soft, and the other was kind of rigid. I wouldn't classify either of them that way. Rigid is rather harsh. She came back to say that this professor was strict but compassionate. I think it was the rigid that made me laugh because that is not how I would of described that professor. Strict yes, but we're not in high school anymore. Shouldn't more be expected of us? Especially when it's for a class that has to do with most peoples major. I mean when we get out in the real world of graphic design there will be deadlines that we will be expected to meet. It's part of the job.

Anyway, that was my day. The events and the thoughts. Real exciting I know.

Neglection

So.....Bout this whole blogging thing.

I've not had a new post in a couple months. I've just had no time. I feel like I've not stopped moving for 4 months. Wednesday I did absolutely nothing, and it was marvelous.

It's a new year so I think tonight I will talk about this past year, and the things that are to come this year.

2010 was a year of frustration, goal setting, and accomplishment. I returned to college after taking three semesters off, and kicked ass doing it by getting a 4.0 my first semester back. Proving to myself that, with hard work, I can do anything I set my mind to. I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up, a high school theater teacher. I made the decision that I will attend Lipscomb University to obtain my bachelors degree, and I am working hard now to reach that goal.  I went through a frustrating, but much needed, growing period with my girls.  I finally got the opportunity to reconnect with my father's family.  I was Maid of Honor for Elyssa's wedding. G5.1 was founded. (Ha) I quit working for that misogynistic hypocrite. Sunny Bright Productions finally took off with me producing a senior video, a video for the Lawrence County Fair Queen Contest, and a video for the Mitchell High School Volleyball team. Also I photographed 2 Seniors, 2 engagements, and a wedding. And I became the SADD sponsor for Mitchell High School, taking the reins from my high school mentor. 2010 was a good year, a frustrating year, but a good one.

2011..... Rebecca and Melissa will be graduating from high school. Two girls that I love and have tried to be intentional with for four years, will be graduating high school and leaving. God has blessed me with the opportunity to see and be a part of their growth, and I'm eager to see what's next for them. Though, it is a really strange feeling to think about them leaving. I myself will be graduating from Ivy Tech this year with an Associates in Liberal Arts and a certificate of Graphic Design. Also this year I will be a bridesmaid in a wedding for a girl I roomed with at ISU. It's weird because I didn't expect us to get along as well as we did, but we did and now she is one of my best friends.

I have a lot of things to be proud of from 2010, and many things to look forward to for 2011.

Happy New Year, Readers!