A.D.D and Me Take 2

Last Thursday I got rid of the last of my "man" clothes. I am a girl. It's time to start dressing like one.

Anyway....

I spent the weekend in Gatlinburg, TN for a youth ralley called Winterfest. It was my 10th consective Winterfest. I have to say that every year it becomes less and less spiritually influencing. It's become really showy. Which maybe it was when I was younger too, I just didn't notice. ? I don't know. I find it hard to pay attention to, so to keep myself awake this year I brought a mini slinky to play with during the sessions. That seemed to do the trick.

Winterfest has changed for me. Instead of it being all about the lessons, music, and entertainment; it's more about the time I have with the people around me. I had 4 girls in my room this year. Two of which I had never met, and the other two of which I don't get a lot of time with. And I have to say I really enjoyed my time with these girls. They are all kind of in different places right now, and it was interesting to get their take on the sessions and the time that they were spending with one another and others.

The ride there and back was also very enjoyable. I was in a vehicle with Curt and Beth which automatically makes it a good time, and then you have Becky and Ashley who were in my room and enjoyable. Then you have Jocelyn and Addy which is always very interesting. I always enjoy the time I have with the two of them.

Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is that the trip for me is no longer about the youth ralley, but about the people I am there with. This year was an opportunity to spend time with some teens that I don't normally spend time with. I'm glad I got a chance to do that.

I have to add this: I actually had a one on one conversation with Jeff Walling. And by conversation I mean, he was coming down the stairs of the Microtel right behind me so I held the door open for him and said, "Mornin' Jeff". To which he replyed, "Mornin". That was it.  Hahaha.....

Best line the entire weekend came from the illusionist. He said, "That went over like a pregnant high jumper." I will be using that.

Silly Conservatives....Grace is for everyone

Last Sunday I was in Versailles and attended my grandmother's church, Shelby Christian Church. Small church. Real small. Anyway, Randy, the minister, used Psalms 5 as his reference and talked about God's justice, and how God hates sinners and we should hate what God hates. He said, "You've heard it said, hate the sin love the sinner. But it doesn't say that here, it says God hates the sinner."

I was like, "Dude, Ephesians 2. ? Grace? Heard of it?"

Today I made my monthly visit to Liberty Church of Christ. Keevin spoke about grace today. Which I thought was very appropriate since the message I listened to the week before was more about God's wrath. It made me giggle a little.

Thumbs up Liberty Church of Christ.

Lately, I have been a real bumber. Blah. But this week I have just been super duper.

I decided I can't just sit around in my self-pity.  Between the dying grandfather, the suicidal sister, and the growing pains, if I try to deal with everything at once, I won't get out of bed in the morning.

Every morning I have to decide what my day is going to be about. Am I going to sit here in my self pity or am I going to make myself useful and live my life. It's a daily decision. It's all so much bigger than me, and it would be so easy to just let it consume me. But what good would I be to anyone? What good would it be to me?

This morning I made myself some coffee and danced to some 70s Disco hits. (Thanks to Beth Parsley.) And on my drive to Liberty this morning, 107.3 was playing 90s love songs. How awesome is that? What a great start to my day!

It is those little things in life I choose to focus on. All that stuff that is bigger than me I have to put in God's hands. He knows what to do with it. My God is good. I lose focus of that sometimes, and then I have to refocus. So thats what I am doing now. Refocusing myself.

Ephesians 2:4-5 "But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved."

Despite everything I have done, do, and will do, my God has shown me mercy because he has a great love for me. For Lindsay Slone. I am a sinner who is constantly falling short, but because of my God's great love for me, Lindsay Slone, I am saved.

If you get a chance go a head and read through Epshesians. It's my favorite.

A.D.D. and Me

I'm a procrastinator.

For Example I thought this blog up 3 weeks ago and am just now posting it. hehe.

I have this little thing called Attention Deficit Disorder. A.D.D. if you perfer. And due to this little monkey, I tend to lose my focus during times when perhaps it would be best if I were paying attention. Once upon a time, I was on medication for it which was like giving the monkey Benedryl so it would sleep. However, I learned that the medicine doesn't work so great if you forget to take it, which is like feeding the monkey a bannana.

I have this professor who I have basically been psychoanalyzing. Instead of listening to her color lecture I ended up trying to figure out her past due to her behavior in the classroom. You know things like her relationship with her mother, that big break up she had in high school, and so on. Given (haha) this is all made up for my amusement. I get bored and I make back stories for complete strangers. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last.

Went on a Lispcomb visit last week. I now have more information to base my decision on. What that decision will be? I have no idea.

I am exceptionally thankful for coffee and heat.

I Am Surrounded by Butts

When it rains it pours. Ever heard that saying?  I'm living it.

My grandfather is dying. Doctors gave him three months to a year. He has/ had lung cancer. He was a smoker for a long time. So he battled against the lung cancer and won, but the war isn't over. The cancer spread. He is going through more chemo which is why they said three months to a year. With out the chemo its three months.

We are all praying for more time. That he will have more time. That we will have more time with him. I need more time with him. But I don't want to see him suffer. He is suffering. And there is nothing I can do, but hope and pray.

My dad called me yesterday morning. Which I knew something was wrong because he never calls in the morning unless something is wrong. He called to tell me that my step sister tried to commit suicide. She took pills. She has some health problems and so she is on medication for that. She has had a rough life. Nothing has been easy for her. She took pills. Now she is in the hospital.

A student of mine who I have invested a great deal of time in, is homeless as of last week. The mother has been in and out of prison for meth. Meth. Which is what she is now back in prison for. As of last week. Luckly the student has found a place to stay. This student has not had an easy life. Nothing has been handed to them.

What do you say to that? How do you deal with that?

My boss has been a real jerk lately. I'm learning that it is in his nature to be. A Christian man. No one gives Christians a worse name than Christians.

I'm guilty of that. We all are.

So....How do I, Lindsay, make it through the day?

First and formost being God. Because I know my strength comes from him. Other than that:

~A co-worker making reference to me being Super Woman.

~Remembering the snow storm of 2007 where my roommate and I watched like 2 complete seasons of Greys, and didn't kill each other even though we were together for 24 hours straight.

~Playing an arcade basketball game with Moyra with our eyes shut.

~Dancing with Sophia.

~Dranking 4 cups of coffee in the morning.

~Hearing Destiny's voice on the other end of the phone.

~The sound of a can of coke opening.

~Finally getting a chance to get to know my cousin, Megan.

~Getting a chance to spend more time with Elyssa and helping her plan her wedding.

~A simple 'I love you' text from Em.

~Gary helping me think through things rationally.

~Random big sister gifts from my "little brother".

~Doing absolutely nothing for an entire day but watching 10 episodes of Grey's Anatonmy.

Things seem bad because they are bad. But even in the midst of all that bad there is good. And I think I lose sight of that. Even if I am surrounded by butts. There is still good. That is what I have to chose to focus on.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Time

Timing.
People say timing is everything.
My timing sucks.

In Ecclesiastes it says that there is a time for everything. A season for everything.

My days run together. The simplest things I cant remember. I don't remember most of last week. I can remember the basics of last week. But the details I do not. The specifics are missing. Thats not normal for me. I remember everything. And I do mean everything. It's ridiculous.

I have a lot to expect this year. New beginnings and unfortunately some endings.

Time.
I'm done chasing time.
It's time to just be, and let things be.